• Hanifah Jones

Single During Cuffing Season? Embrace It!

Oh cuffing season, it’s the time of year when the weather drops and everyone seems to be boo’d up. Not only is your timeline is filled with couples declaring their infatuation with one another, but the chills in the air have you craving a good cuddle session. If you're eternally single like me, this time of year can feel a bit...lonely.

According to Urban Dictionary, cuffing season is caused by “cold weather and prolonged indoor activities,” but it’s a more complex issue. There is a major phenomenon during the winter months that also play a role: holiday season.

Being single during the holidays can be difficult, even if you don’t celebrate them. Think of the countless Christmas rom-coms that are being played on repeat. Workaholic city girl moves to the country to save her family’s inn before the holidays while she falls in love with the hot local boy. The holidays are all about sentimental moments and quality time, elements that attract our hormones and cause them to go haywire. It doesn’t help that your distant relatives keep asking about your imaginary partner, wondering why you don’t have one. While my inner conspiracy theorist wants to believe that cuffing season is rooted in capitalism, it might be possible that we just want to feel loved.

Some people deal with the FOMO of cuffing season by getting into whirlwind romances. These typically burnout before the weather breaks, or before Valentine’s Day for non-committal individuals. In my opinion, the best way to overcome the “cuffing season blues” is toaddress the root of the problem. Are you feeling lonely, or are you just craving affection? There’s a huge difference between the two.

I’m not here to tell you to just stay busy and distracted, I actually find this “advice” offensive; it suggests that you are sitting around wallowing in your single status all day, which isn't true. You can be the CEO of a multimillion dollar corporation with back-to-back meetings everyday and still want to feel loved.

As the “Queen of the Singles” my advice is simple: give yourself all of the things you would want in a relationship. Being single is the perfect time to work on the most important relationship in your life, the relationship you have with yourself. Do an in-depth self-audit and address your issues. You should also work on self-love and recognize that anyone would be lucky to have you.

Craving affection? Take this time to shower yourself with the affection you deserve! This might sound corny, but take yourself on a date! Buy yourself flowers, and try out a new restaurant, or a new activity that excites you. Find a fluffy throw blanket and cuddle with yourself (self-exploration is also extremely valid).

Feeling lonely? Hit up your friends for ice skating and hot cocoa, you don’t need to be in a relationship to enjoy winter activities. While it is important to value your own company, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with others. No, you might not have a New Year's kiss, but you can start 2020 surrounded by loved ones.

Think of all of the stress you’re avoiding, you don’t have to worry about dealing with a significant other’s complicated family, or wondering why they’re in a bad mood. Social media can be a game of smoke and mirrors. While that celebrity couple might look cute in their matching pjs, you never know what drama is going down behind the scenes.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with dating. In fact, this is the perfect time to casually get to know people. But date because you want to, not because you feel like you have to. Our society often leads the narrative that being single means there’s something wrong with you. Single people are often portrayed as bitter and desperate, so we often cling to situationships. However, being single can actually be fun if you have the right mindset.

Remember, being single during cuffing season doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you or that you’re missing out. You are worth more than your relationship status. Trust me, I’m typing this as a reminder to myself as well. A real relationship should be rooted in passion and respect, not just taking cute pictures on the gram.

So, if you find yourself single during cuffing season, don’t fret. Take this time to work on becoming the best version of yourself. When it is time for you to be in a relationship, you’ll be ready.